I had a dream this year of writing my blog EVERY DAY! Those who have the slightest tendancy for OCD will understand how difficult it was to let that slip away when we decided to go to Utah for a week long trip and I abandon the idea for fun with besties, family and my children. That trip was followed up by a trip to Minnesota to be with more family. Upon arriving home from Minnesota (at 1 am on a Thursday) we settled into our house and unpacked, ready for a good night sleep...only to be awoken by the police. My daddy had passed away, been found by a neighbor and I was the next of kin. WOW! What a night that was. I really discovered the depth of my faith that night...as my first intuition and reaction was to get on my knees. I thanked my Heavenly Father for my dad. I talked about how though he had some weaknesses and he wasn't always making the best choices, that I was so eternally grateful that he raised me with a love for my Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. He opened the door (literally) to the gospel in my life and that of my siblings. I am so grateful he opened the door. Then in an instant the moments that would be so full of turmoil, pain, grief and tears for others became a peaceful recognition for me of all the good my dad had done for us. I became filled with a peace and a calm. It was as if the Holy Spirit had poured over me and carried me through. The week that followed was filled with love...siblings reconnecting, laughter, planning, pictures, slide shows and memories of past, present and the hope of future memories. It was a good time. I know that may sound odd to some to describe my father's funeral as a good time, but that is just what it was. It was a celebration, both of his life, and the love he gave to us and taught us to give to each other. It was also an awakening of what matters most, and first things first. It was then that I realized that it didn't matter if I wrote my blog "every" day, it just mattered that I wrote and shared and loved and reached for others. We often have dreams or hopes and when we don't meet them exactly as we wish we give up, feel we have failed, or beat ourselves relentlessly with a wet noodle. I have learned from losing my dad that is not what he, or a LOVING HEAVENLY FATHER want us to do. So it is TIME to be a little KINDER to ourselves. It is time to LOVE ourselves a little more. It is time to be a little GENTLER to the beautiful daughter or son that a LOVING Heavenly Father created.
I missed my blog while I was living LIFE the past 4 weeks. I missed the comments from people I love. I missed the reinforcement from many of you that I DO make a difference. I missed how writing helps me to tap into myself. But while I was gone I learned a whole lot too!!! I am thankful for all I learned. And now...I AM BACK! You may not see me every day, but I hope to be here often. And I hope, like a close neighbor, you will visit often.
Life is precious and short! Live like today could be your last...Make it a great day! ONLY YOU CAN!!!
2 comments:
Oh how I love you! You amaze me. I miss you. Miranda misses you. We all miss you. You described the week of the funeral perfectly! It was a good time and the spirit was really strong! Love you.
Dear Christine, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad. I know that the timing was specifically arranged to be after you had rejuvenated & strengthened the bonds with your MN family. I feel like I do know you and your family through Heather. And I am grateful for the warm hug you extended to me in the few moments we had together. May the Holy Spirit continue to bless and embrace your family. Sincerely, Nae
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