**(update March 7, 2013...I posted this on the wrong blog...so I left a copy here and posted on http://becomingthebutterflyproject.blogspot.com/2013/03/growing-pains.html)
This whole blog ( I have a couple blogs I write when I fancy doing so), but this whole blog has been my journey in becoming. It began at birth, though I didn't start writing then ;) I think I really started embracing the process after losing my mother and 3 short years later, my father. I am becoming these amazing things, I always was, but now purpose and drive are fueling the fire.
Losing both parents before 40 has made me evaluate many things. I am realizing some of their weaknesses that I just glassed over with Rose Colored lenses. Coupled with this has come the epiphany that I am realizing some of their strengths that I NEVER gave them credit for in this life. I am less hard on others since their loss. And becoming less hard on myself.
I am breathing more, smelling more roses (Thank you C.T.R... for helping me learn to do that when we were working at EHS for A.V.I.D... I bet you didn't even know the lesson literally stuck, but it did), I am reading more, laughing more, and having spontaneous water fights with my children. I am gardening. I remember endless hours of my mother stooped over some dirt, digging and shoveling, weeding and planting. And I thought, "Good for her, but that will NEVER be for me."
When she passed she wanted me to promise we would plant sweet peas with the children, and I assured her my Darling Husband would. However when I lost her I seemed to recognize the value of her stooped over, digging and planting. I learned over the last couple of years that when growing gardens, cultivating plants is not the only growth that occurs. As my hands mix the soil, as I water, and watch, prepare and nurture...miracles spring forth. And just like raising our children...some of those seeds don't do just what we want, some take longer to sprout, some refuse to in general and all of them have a mind of their own. There are early bloomers and late bloomers and everything in between.
Life is full of growing pains. We are experiencing the growing pains that accompany the transition from age 11 to age 12, of hormones, of the onset of puberty... ummm.... this is NOT fun! But it IS part of becoming. As I suffer through these days of fluctuating between being the greatest and worst person in the world (nearly daily) in my daughters eyes, I have gained a new respect for me parents and how beautifully they helped navigate me through those difficult and stretching years. I wish they were here so I could say how many times I was wrong, and how sorry I am. I can see it now far more clearly. Funny how smart our parents often get as we get older. No rose glasses here, I assure you they had as many weaknesses as I do (and the list is long), but the journey in discovering their wisdom has been rewarding too.
Make it a great day! Only you can!
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
The Suit Makes the Man...
The SUIT makes the man...
Before today I was not so sure I bought into this old adage at all. But I am a woman, and I do LOVE a cute new pair of shoes from time to time (like monthly).
So when my 7 year old son begged and pleaded for a Sunday suit I wondered, "Why? Why does a 7 year old boy need, or even want (for that matter) to wear a suit to church." My husband wears his suit each week, and I know he would prefer dockers and a T-shirt at times. But I will confess I love to admire my sweetheart in a well fitted suit. There is something so handsome, so gentlemanly about it. I know, it isn't for everyone, and some men might never be caught dead (well maybe just dead) in one. Regardless, here was my little guy doing all he could to convince me that he "needed" one.
This did lead me to wonder if it was just to be like his dad. But the answer came in the isle of Kohls as we tried on suit jackets. He said, "Please mom? Please, please get it? I will wear it. If I get it, I can act like a daddy. I can be like Daddy. I will be able to listen and pay attention. I promise."
These are BIG words coming from a wormy, squirmy 7 year old. But what mother can resist them when little boy suits are 30% off, she has an additional 30% off that coupon in her pocket and his sweet little eyes are pleading his case. So I caved and my husband thought $42 on a little boy's church clothes was nothing short of ridiculous. He thought that until...Noon today.
Because today, for the first time since his birth...my wormy and squirmy son listened to every word of the sabbath day message with our family. Then he went to his Sunday School class where I happen to know he continued to listen to every word. I know this, because I am his teacher! And then he was on to the final children's meeting where he sang, listened and paid attention the WHOLE TIME!
Before leaving today the thought had come into my mind: "The suit makes the man." I have heard it a hundred times. I sat the 3 older children down and we talked about what that means. For any interview I have ever gone to I dressed, not for the job I wanted, but for my future boss's job. The clothes do NOT make the man. I really believe they DO NOT. However, a suit really can level the playing field. It can make a person elevate their behavior, their attitude. Today I saw greatness in my little 7 year old man. He really wanted to listen. And he believed that with that suit on he would be able to listen. Maybe it was the suit for him. It was miraculous to watch the change. I mean, Superman put on a suit provided by his mother and he could fly. Today my boy flew! Witnessing it makes me so grateful that I didn't say no last night at the begging and pleading of my little boy. He actually isn't such a little boy anymore. I think he is growing up.
Make it a great day! Only YOU can!
Before today I was not so sure I bought into this old adage at all. But I am a woman, and I do LOVE a cute new pair of shoes from time to time (like monthly).
So when my 7 year old son begged and pleaded for a Sunday suit I wondered, "Why? Why does a 7 year old boy need, or even want (for that matter) to wear a suit to church." My husband wears his suit each week, and I know he would prefer dockers and a T-shirt at times. But I will confess I love to admire my sweetheart in a well fitted suit. There is something so handsome, so gentlemanly about it. I know, it isn't for everyone, and some men might never be caught dead (well maybe just dead) in one. Regardless, here was my little guy doing all he could to convince me that he "needed" one.
This did lead me to wonder if it was just to be like his dad. But the answer came in the isle of Kohls as we tried on suit jackets. He said, "Please mom? Please, please get it? I will wear it. If I get it, I can act like a daddy. I can be like Daddy. I will be able to listen and pay attention. I promise."
These are BIG words coming from a wormy, squirmy 7 year old. But what mother can resist them when little boy suits are 30% off, she has an additional 30% off that coupon in her pocket and his sweet little eyes are pleading his case. So I caved and my husband thought $42 on a little boy's church clothes was nothing short of ridiculous. He thought that until...Noon today.
Because today, for the first time since his birth...my wormy and squirmy son listened to every word of the sabbath day message with our family. Then he went to his Sunday School class where I happen to know he continued to listen to every word. I know this, because I am his teacher! And then he was on to the final children's meeting where he sang, listened and paid attention the WHOLE TIME!
Before leaving today the thought had come into my mind: "The suit makes the man." I have heard it a hundred times. I sat the 3 older children down and we talked about what that means. For any interview I have ever gone to I dressed, not for the job I wanted, but for my future boss's job. The clothes do NOT make the man. I really believe they DO NOT. However, a suit really can level the playing field. It can make a person elevate their behavior, their attitude. Today I saw greatness in my little 7 year old man. He really wanted to listen. And he believed that with that suit on he would be able to listen. Maybe it was the suit for him. It was miraculous to watch the change. I mean, Superman put on a suit provided by his mother and he could fly. Today my boy flew! Witnessing it makes me so grateful that I didn't say no last night at the begging and pleading of my little boy. He actually isn't such a little boy anymore. I think he is growing up.
Make it a great day! Only YOU can!
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