L O V E

Today was my birthday. It was a beautiful day! Clear skies and puffy clouds. It was the perfect day for little ones to teach big lessons in love. From the time I woke up I got hugs and kisses and Happy Birthday wishes. I got smiles and more hugs and where are you going mom? THE SPA!!! I couldn't wait! Glen Ivy lets you in FREE on your birthday. It was lovely!!!

Darling #3 (age 5/boy) pulled me aside.

"Mom, I am getting you a surprise. I can't tell you what it is, but I can give you a hint. It is something a daddy gets a mommy when he is going to ask her to marry him."

Knowing it was unlikely that this child's father was going to get him a ring to give to me I said can I tell you a secret? He smiled a big smile. I whispered loudly in his ear, "I LOVE FLOWERS!!!" Then I told him not to tell anyone but his dad.

I only stayed at the spa a couple hours. I actually missed my family and headed home an hour early. I called my Darling Husband and said that I wanted to pick up Darling #3. He said, "Oh he is driving me crazy. He is so mad. At Walmart there was a huge, hideous neckless watch that he wanted to buy for you and I said NO!"

So we met and I took child #3 to Kohl's. Where EVERYTHING is OVER PRICED...but it is all ON SALE :) We went through the jewelry isle by isle. I tried on no less than 20 rings. He settled on a pinkie ring that was a silver band with tiny fake gemstones. He said, "That is perfect." But then as we went to check out he found another ring. It had words on it. On the outside it was engraved with "My Love, My Pride, My Joy, My Strength, My Courage." It was actually beautiful and it was a $50 sterling silver ring, but was on clearance for $5. I said, that is beautiful. He smiled and said that ring is WAAYYYYY better, do you know why? Because it has words on it. I read it to him. He smiled and took it to the counter...AND I PAID FOR IT! :) He said, the only reason you could know what I got you is because you came with me when I got it. Otherwise you couldn't know. In the car on the way home he said, "I picked it out all by myself." He ran inside to show his dad. He told his dad that he picked it by himself. "Do you want to know why? Because it says LOVE!" It made his day.

Later when I got back from my date I took off the packaging and noticed there was an engraving on the inside of the ring too. "My Family" I almost started to cry!!! My Love, My Joy, My Pride, My Strength, My Courage: My Family!!! And it is so true! I love my children and their depth of love and devotion to me. I hope I will be the mother they deserve.

My Darling #1 is nine. She took her purse to the store when they went to Walmart. My husband didn't know why until they got there. She said she wanted to get me her OWN present. It was so sweet. He said that she looked and looked. Then she found a Butterfly Necklace. (My Angel mom sends us butterflies ;) She looked at it, turned over to the price...$10, looked at it, turned to the price, a few times. Then she turned to her father and said, YES, I want this. She walked to the counter and pulled out 10 waded up one dollar bills. My husband was so proud of his little girl. She almost melted when the cashier said $11.08 but daddy said he would get the tax. Then they came home and she ran to her room. She promptly brought him $1.08 and said that she wanted this to be the first present she bought me ALL BY HERSELF!" She then wrapped it herself and wrote "To Mommy" on the top of the box. The sweetest words!!! If you gathered the riches of the world...You could not afford my priceless jewel of a necklace. When she gave it to me, I quickly opened it with delight and put it on. On the back of the butterfly it says "Embrace Life!" I know that is what my mother wants us to do. What a wonderful family I have. It's a wonderful life!

Make it a great day! Only YOU can!

Do unto others...

No matter what religion or philosophical belief you embrace...no one has yet to prove to me that goodness isn't returned with goodness. In fact quite the opposite has been my experience. The "Golden Rule" as it were Do unto others as you would have done to you, does not only benefit the one done to...but also the one doing.

Case in point:

Many, Many, Many years ago (tomorrow I will be 38 and I think this happened when I was 10ish)...My mother was driving home with us from the grocery store. There was a man standing as we were pulling out with a sign "Will work for food". My mother did something that day that left an ever lasting impression on both my mind and my heart. She turned our car around. She went back to the grocery store. She bought a bag full of groceries and she returned to the man. She told him that she didn't have anything to do at the house at the time, but she wanted him to have something to eat and appreciated his willingness to work for it. There was many a time my dad would bring migrant workers home to do yard work. My parents always paid them fairly and my mother always fed them like kings. They taught me what it means to serve. It is easy to serve the ones you love. You would do anything for them. It is much more difficult to serve those that look dirty, or jobless, or homeless. Maybe you think, "If only they got a job, they would have food." I love the lyrics of an old Mark Willis song...

Don't Laugh at me...

I'm a little boy with glasses
The one they call the geek
A little girl who never smiles
'Cause I've got braces on my teeth
And I know how it feels
To cry myself to sleep

I'm that kid on every playground
Who's always chosen last
A single teenage mother
Tryin' to overcome my past
You don't have to be my friend
But is it too much to ask

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

I'm the cripple on the corner
You've passed me on the street
And I wouldn't be out here beggin'
If I had enough to eat
And don't think I don't notice
That our eyes never meet

I lost my wife and little boy when
Someone cross that yellow line
The day we laid them in the ground
Is the day I lost my mind
And right now I'm down to holdin'
This little cardboard sign...so

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall
I'm deaf, I'm blind, hey, aren't we all

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me...

My parents raised us not to judge people by their religion, social status, color of their skin, country they were born in, or political affiliation. Every one has a story and the only one YOU or I KNOW...is our own story. We don't live in anyone's skin but our own so judgment should be reserved for high power except of course for the enforcement of laws and safety. I have a wide range of friends because I simply try to love people.

The other day I was running errands with the kids. Library and Vet day ;) I pulled off a major off ramp and was first at the red light. To my left was a young man, late teens or early twenties, with a sign. It simply read "God Bless". My first inclination was go get a job (I will admit, I am human.) I never carry cash but an overwhelming feeling rushed in my heart. At one time my uncle was homeless and for a short time when one of my brothers ran away from home he slept on the street. I thought of how I would have wanted the mother of five that pulled up to either of them to act. So I quickly ran the errand at hand that day, then we ran through Taco Bell. I got three things I would like and a cup of water. Made the loop and there he was...grateful, so grateful. My heart leaped with happiness. I can't describe the feeling, but if you have done a similar random act of kindness you know what I mean. If you haven't, try it, there is no greater feeling in the world. I hope that my parents legacy will live on in my children and their children. Do unto others...it blesses YOU too!

Make it a great day! Only YOU can!

Moonlighting as a Night Owl

Mornings are beautiful!

Mornings are wonderful!

They just aren't for me.

For many years I tried to be a morning bird. You know early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Or the ol' It's the early bird that gets the worm Motto. Regardless of the best laid plans and intentions, regardless of all the metaphors and promises of brighter days...I can't seem to drag myself to bed any earlier than 11 pm...and that is an early night! Maybe it is because... Can you hear that? That is the sound of quiet. It is 9:28 pm right now and everyone has gone to bed. My husband is off running an errand (cheese for mine and baby Derek's birthday dinner ;) And I love the quiet of my time by myself. Don't get me wrong. I love, love, love my cute little (ok, well big) family. But that solace of just me, existing, emails, or facebook, or a yummy book...I just love that late time.

What seems like a million years ago, before I was married, while I was at college I had a Night Owl friend. (Still my friend! But back then we were Night Owls together). It was nothing for us to stay up until 2, 3, 4 or 5 am and talk and talk. I loved all those chats and it bound us together. I miss those many chats and look forward to a future schedule change at my house which may allow more of them in the near future since we are still both night owls. When I get together with siblings we are usually up until the wee hours of morning talking and though I usually pay for it the next day, I love those times. I don't get enough of them with most of my family farther away. I wonder what is it like to be that person who can't wait to hop out of bed when the sun comes up. I don't think I will ever know. When I read the parable of the Bride Groom coming at midnight though, I think good, I will probably be up!

Make it a great day! Only YOU can!

An Ordinary Day of Chores...

My baby is standing by the piano (standing...I love it when they start doing that)...playing away and "singing". The other four children are playing together...something that doesn't always happen but when it does I LOVE IT! We finished most of our school work for the week so we only have a little left and we will be FREE for the day.

Of course we aren't totally FREE. I have a long list of little chores that need to be done and I am blessed to drag around a 9, 7, 5, 3, and almost 1 (TUESDAY) year old... Fun stuff. Lucky me, I get to go to the Vet. But hopefully I won't have to see the one that thinks I have too many children. This week I met a mom that has 9 kids. We were laughing out loud with each other as we rehearsed the things people say. The most popular being "ARE ALL (emphasis on the all) THESE CHILDREN YOURS???" This must be said in a condescending and judgmental voice...for it to be an accurate depiction of the rude accusation that 5 or in my new friend's case 9 children are too many. I sometimes want to scream N.O.Y.B. (none of your business...I know childish, and I don't, but sometimes I want to.)

I also need to run by the old Vet to get a form stamped. My sweet husband went there last week, and they signed it, but didn't stamp it... UGH! There is a reason why they are our old Vet! Again, 5 little children following behind.

Then we need to return our summer books to the library and get new ones. This is fun with soft little voices of 5 siblings. :) Right! But I do love that they love to read. And that when my 7 year old found out last night that it was return day he hurried to finish his last book.

Then back home to finish some household chores and get ready for a fun family night. The kids are playing front yard football tonight with daddy. Then we have a family movie to watch. With the promise of popcorn for well behaved children.

Wish me luck...I may need it today!

Make it a great day! Only YOU can!

The size of a woman's clothes matters...And SHOES too!

We went out last night...I know WEDNESDAY? But it was fun to be together and away from children for a couple hours. Nothing fancy just a trip to Costco to get my hubby a "casual" dress shirt??? I know, oxy moron if I ever heard one. While we were there I browsed around. They had the cutest fall/winter (in California) jackets and I am a sucker for a cute jacket. So I started looking. Wouldn't you know, every one in a color I liked lacked my size. I chuckled and moved on. Then I found another cute, and very light jacket, the kind you wear with jeans and a T-shirt. Again, NOTHING. Now I was a little miffed. When the beautiful dress pants that were fabulously priced had every size above and below mine but only carried my size in "extra long"...at least it seemed EXTRA LONG for this 5'4" girl...I groaned with frustration. Why is it that EVERY time you want something it is impossible to find in your size? Murphy must have another law, whatever size a woman needs will NOT be available. With that said, we did find two cute pair of jeans and since I lost 20 pounds this summer I smiled at my hubby and he said "YES". I held the two brands up...the waist bands were no less than 1 1/2 inches different...which adds up to 3 inches around. They were the same cut so I am wondering about this crazy sizing thing. I got them both and will return the non fitting pair (hope the smaller one is the one that fits!)

We headed to Kohl's to return a pair of shoes. I had worn them 2 times and hated them. They cut into my feet and normally that would result in a pair of shoes in the trash. But Kohl's keeps advertising that they aren't like other stores... Don't like it, no problem, over 90 days, no problem, no receipt, no problem. I thought, what can I lose. I couldn't find my receipt and they offered me $5.99... ummmm NO THANKS! I would rather line my trash can. I did search and search and that great little voice we sometimes hear in our head (I think it must be angels or the spirit) said, look in the glove compartment. Sure enough! So I hope to be getting $23.99 back instead of $5.99! Well...those were my shopping adventures. My husband said, being a girl stinks...your shoes are so uncomfortable. Guys don't have to worry about that. Makes you think it is some anti-woman conspiracy or something ;) If any of you have great dress/church shoes that you LOVE...fill me in. I could use a good pair. They will get used no less than 52 times a year though, so they need to be good, comfy and last. I told my husband last night... "I hate fashion!" Why can't we just wear jeans and white T-shirts and Moo Moo's on Sunday. That would be the life. Maybe I should move to Hawaii... Now there is a pleasant thought and on that note...

Make it a great day! Only YOU can!

The repetition of Motherhood

I borrowed a facebook post from my friend that cracked me up the other day (I hope she doesn't mind). It went as follows:

Boy gets glasses. Boy bends glasses. Mom fixes glasses. Boy gets glasses. Boy bends glasses. Mom fixes glasses. Boy gets glasses. Boy bends glasses. Mom fixes glasses. Boy gets glasses. Boy bends glasses. Mom takes glasses away.

If you didn't laugh OUT LOUD, like I did, then you probably do NOT have children. For those of us that do...and ESPECIALLY MOTHERS...every day can seem like the running together of constant "little" chores... We wipe messes, noses, bottoms. We fix toys, torn clothing, glasses and occasionally broken hearts. A few years back my child broke something and took it to their father. Daddy said, "I am so sorry, I can't fix it son." To which my child replied, "That's ok Daddy, Mommy can fix it. She can fix ANYTHING." I admit, I snickered a little from the other room. And though I can't fix "everything and anything" I do try to be thrifty and fix lots of things. I hope someday my children see that as a strength and are thrifty themselves. For mothers, single, married, stay at home, or working ones...life is strung with constant little invisible chores. I say invisible not because we can't see them. But because usually NO ONE ELSE DOES! :) If the house runs smoothly no one cares, it is when some little invisible thing doesn't get done that we are noticed. I have tried to stop those little tiffs before they even happen at my house. When my husband comes home he changes. After that it usually goes a little like this...you may want to notice... (fill in the blank) the laundry I washed and folded, the bed/s I made, the dishes that are not only rinsed but clean in the dishwasher...and so on. My love language is probably praise. But his is definitely when someone does acts of service. This little routine has created a lot of harmony for us. He Oooo's and Awww's and I smile. Sometimes we laugh because it seems silly, but it makes me feel less invisible. :) And I like that. My jobs may be small, and run together. To some they may be unimportant. But I am raising God's little sons and daughters and I don't consider that anything less than THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB ON EARTH. The media, movies and some (not all but some) liberals...work to make me feel less. If they think I don't contribute to the gross national product they should see my grocery bill each WEEK! :) So all you moms keep doing what you are doing. Hopefully you are not invisible to the people around you. I see you and I think you are doing a great job. And I KNOW GOD SEES YOU and HE IS SMILING!

Make it a great day! Only YOU can!

Birthdays...

This coming week I will be 38. When I stand in front of the mirror there are many days I wonder, "Who's body is this? And who snatched mine?" But I earned every pound and every stretch mark. And though I haven't given up on having a slimmer me (working on that...36 down since the baby and 20 more to go...or so ;) I have given up on ever looking like I did at 26 when I got married. Skinny, I hear it is overrated. (that is what the voice in my head tells me, anyway). I still look in the mirror and behind the wrinkles and the tired neck lies that 26 year old adventurous spirit...if I can keep that spirit young I will be just fine. I hear that 40 is the new 29 (well, maybe I said it)...but with people living to the ripe old age of 100 all the time now...you do the math. It is probably more like the old 25 :)

When my birthday comes around I am not melancholy for the same reasons that some women are. I have no desire to have back my 18, 20, even 29 year old body...and I certainly wouldn't want to relive anything before age 26. Everything from 26 to now has been relatively great. Not perfect...but I can live without perfect, too hard to keep clean. No, the thing that makes me melancholy is the lack of my mother on my birthday. Oh, I know she is around. But I miss those German Chocolate Cakes with Coconut frosting and the clothes she picked out for me that I never really wanted to wear (because they looked like...well...my mother's clothes), but that still hang in my closet because NOW they are one of the last things she gave me and I can't let go of them. I miss how fabulous birthdays were with her. I miss how the one year she "forgot", she got in a car that afternoon and drove 70 miles just to hug me and bring me a present, knowing my husband was taking me out. She kissed me and drove 70 miles home. That day I was hurt (because when she called to chat that afternoon I had to remind her what day it was)...but this day all I see is the effort she put in to make it up to me.

I remember record players, books, a waterbed, clothes, a sweet 16 party, and so much more. But I would have traded ALL of it for 20 more birthdays with my mom and her German Chocolate Cake. Good thing I am currently OFF chocolate, it will make my day a little easier to bare. I hope my children will miss me as much as I miss her when I am gone. That will be the legacy I give her back, that I learned to be a beloved mother too. Happy "BIRTH" day mom...I couldn't have done it without you!

Make it a good day. Only YOU can!

The first day of school...

For those who don't know or haven't read earlier blogs I am a homeschooler. Ironically one of my sisters and I always laugh about the fact that most "homeschoolers" (the hard core ones) wouldn't really consider me a homeschooler... (I highly disagree since my children are nearly always HOME!!!)...and most public schoolers would not consider me a public schooler (for the same reason, my children are almost ALWAYS HOME!). So here I sit in limbo, marching to the beat of my own drum. If you know me well, you know that really isn't anything new to me. :)

First I will explain what we do (skip to the next paragraph if this part bores you...). We have participated in a state funded, charter school, run by the Orange County Department of Education since my oldest was a kindergartener. A friend found the program, and though on bad days I threaten public school...the way some moms threaten homeschool....I really do love it and it works for us. We get a free curriculum provided by the state, report monthly to a teacher with our work samples and take end of the year standardized testing (which I am not bragging...but am very proud when I say, Darling #1 was advanced in all categories...my husband's family expressed a lot of concern in the beginning...so that information is mostly for them ;)

This is our fifth year of homeschooling and though there is very little I think I miss about the other side of the fence, when traditional school starts there is one part of the grass that looks a little greener. I start reading blogs and facebook updates from moms with public school children. There are usually cute "First day of school" pictures and the child is donning a backpack, with a darling new outfit on, a lunch sack in hand and every hair is in place. It is hard to treat our "school" with the same sanctimonious awe that the traditional first day of school gets. We roll out of bed, eat, dress (sometimes....other times we have jammy-itis), and do our work...at the table, on the floor, in our rooms, in other peoples rooms...mom doesn't care as long as we DO OUR WORK! I have never done the traditional school shopping for clothes. We do get clothes as we need them but not for "School." Some times I feel like I am missing something. Maybe I will go shopping and then comb their hair perfectly and take pictures. Either that or I will live with that small piece of grass that is a different color. :) Once a fellow homeschooler was told..."How can you do this to your children? If you don't send them to school they won't learn manners and instructions. (makes you wonder about her kids...), they won't know how to listen or stand still in line." My friend has a great sense of humor. So she acquired Disneyland passes. When someone said something so asinine in the future...she would respond, no we take them to Disneyland frequently so they can learn to stand in line. And the lines are shorter while your kids are in school (no she didn't say that part, I added it, but it is true!). If I am missing anything I imagine I will get over it...I am certainly not going to die from it.

Disclaimer: Homeschooling is NOT for everyone. Please don't judge us for doing it, and we won't judge you for not doing it. But if you call me on it or ask me if I think my children are missing something I will likely send you a copy of our Darling #1's test scores ;)

Make it a great day. Only YOU can!

Gratitude...

Well here we are again...Sunday.

Despite my child wrestling necessity during Sunday services and the fact that Sundays tend to be anything but peaceful...I still love the Sabbath. I love the chance to revive. I love the feeling of reflecting on something other than ME, or Diapers, or Whining...

Some may believe in a higher power others may not...I fall very strongly in the positively sure category...but either way a day of rest, of reflection is always good for the soul.

Years ago when Oprah's theme song was "10 years have gone by so fast, seems like I was only dreaming..." (yep...guilty, I was an Oprah watcher)...She had a show on Gratitude. I believe that they recommended a Gratitude Journal. That only lasted a few days for me. But I am a grateful person, and I express my gratitude to my Heavenly Father often (usually daily) for my many blessings. Some might look at my life and think that is easy to do... Cute, Hard working, Husband, fairly obedient children, nice home, the American Dream. But we each have our crosses to bear. I promise the gratitude didn't flow as freely out my lips when my mother was dying or my father decided to disown us because he couldn't deal with it all...and still can't. But I forced the gratitude...because with it came the vision of all God had given me. And though cancer took my mother from this earth (key point being cancer not God)...I still had much to be grateful for.

Today I want to express gratitude for the things I sometimes (we??? Maybe) sometimes take for granted. I am grateful to live in a free country. I don't always like the leadership...but I love this great country. I am grateful for my senses. I can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. I recently became acquainted with a new friend that lost her hearing very young...4 I believe. As I pondered that I became so grateful for my hearing. In college one of my friends and study buddy for Stats was blind...as we would study, or walk to class, or talk...I was always grateful for my sight. Don't miss take my gratitude for pity. I don't pity either of them. They are phenomenal women. They have so many gifts and talents that when one failed their bodies...others kicked in and made up the difference...I believe that is another manifestation of God's love, power and mercy...you don't have to believe that, but I do ;) I am grateful to walk without a limp...One of my brother's can no longer do that since a car accident. He is in a great deal of pain and it makes me grateful for my legs. My dear friend lost a child last year. Their sweet little girl past in her sleep (age 3) and the heartbreak was felt by all that loved her. You can click her link to see all the good they are doing (Hailey at the top of my page)... With the loss of Hailey's physical presence (because her spirit is close to them)...I watched as they took the path of gratitude instead of bitterness and entitlement...They have touched me deeply. I am more grateful than ever for my children and pray now to be a better mother. I could continue to express gratitude, but children call, and church calls, and life calls. Just know that I am grateful. (If you are reading this...thank you, I am grateful for those who have taken the time to learn more about my heart. Long lists of friends might be a comfort...but nothing is more comforting than the few that really know you...I am grateful for you!)

Make it a good day! Only YOU can!

High Ho High Ho...it's off to work we go...

Saturday...Oh how I love Saturday...but to get to all the fun stuff...we must first work. At least that is the case at my house. When I was 20 I was dating the love of my life (LOL...) It wasn't long before I found out he was only love of the month (9.5 weeks to be exact ;) But I did love his family and still do. One thing his mom did was don a small chore list on the front of the fridge. That list of household responsibilities WERE done on Saturday mornings or there was NO FUN TO BE HAD! I loved the idea, and though I don't love chores I do love a clean house. So now you may come visit...bathrooms are scrubbed and kitchen floor to boot. My helper (not including my husband who was the chore instigator this morning...I would have rather stayed in bed)...was darling #3. He said as he scrubbed walls and mopped floors "MOM, I love to help and do this!" What a guy...if he keeps it up the women will be lining up in about 18 years ;)

This whole chore thing reminded me of a funny story. When Leslie was potty training she kept going in her pants. She would stay dry but then whenever the big girl undies got on...accident!!! My grandpa told me..."Make her scrub them out...she WILL stop." So out of frustration more than anything else, I said the next time it happened you are going to scrub those out. I put her in the tub with a bucket of water. Soon she was singing "Whistle while you work..." and "High Ho, High Ho...it's off to work I go." I got a good laugh and though the underware didn't get very clean that day...she did EVENTUALLY stop peeing in them. Little happy mommy memories...they make us so frustrated in the present, but they are so fun to look back on!

Make it a great day. Only YOU can!

Fridays

I love Fridays. Everything seems to brighten a little. I know that Saturday is around the corner. Right now Friday is the end of Darling Husband's work week YEAH! We still try to date 3-4 times a month (thank heaven for good babysitters). So I couldn't wait for Friday night to come. But Darling Husband forgot to schedule the sitter this week. So we had a not so quiet "take out" "stay in" dinner from Paul's Place. It was yummy and the company was great...even if we were interrupted no less than 20 times with Math questions from Darling #1 who was finishing homework, Math questions from Darling #2 who is doing next week's math homework (HE LOVES MATH!), potty again, drinks, drinks again,...you get the idea. If you are a parent you know the drill. In a minute it will be quiet. In a few years (which will feel like a minute) they won't even be here...so I strive for more patience.

Thank heaven the babysitter is available tomorrow so we can have a quiet face to face evening. I don't even care if it is like our last date. Last week we did all the dry goods shopping at Costco, found the furniture...sat on a couch and talked 45 minutes, then got the refrigerated items and left. We grabbed a frozen yogurt to share and came home. Great date though. I love my Darling Husband and I am grateful for the time together ALONE :)

Make it a great day. Only YOU can!

Eat, Pray, Love

A sweet friend of mine recommended this movie to me this week. I want to start by thanking her.

I sit here with a Del Taco bag filled with 3 of their $.39 Tacos and a strawberry lemonade. I wonder if Julia Roberts would be disappointed with my lack of food taste...

I am not a frequent movie goer. Why? Hmmmm! I am not really sure. I LOVE the movies. I love the scene in Annie where Daddy Warbucks (sp?) takes her to the movies and the entertainment intro sings "Let's go to the movies, let's go see the stars. Fred and Ginger Dancing madly....Only happy endings, that's our recipe." The thought of it makes me want to burst into song. Maybe I don't frequent the theater anymore because I married a movie hater. And it isn't fun most of the time to go without my sweetheart. Well, after tonight I AM OVER THAT!

Eat, Pray, LOVE! It was a beautiful, powerful, and touching movie. And yet, I also found myself laughing, enjoying and getting lost in it like you do in those fun feel good movies. GO SEE IT! Don't expect the normal...fall in love, problems, work it out, happy ending...Not this movie. But it also isn't the "Break-up" ridiculously unhappy ending either. I loathe that movie. I will warn you there is a bare butt...drum player on the beach, close your eyes if this offends you. Other than that, what a beautiful story of a woman who finds faith, and love for God and herself.

After the movie's recommendation my sister came to visit me today (My husband's sister...but as you may have read...if you read...in the post about my daughter yesterday...your husband's sisters are your sisters. And I am married to my husband FOREVER...so this "in law" stuff...I just leave it off.) If you know me and know my sisters live out of state, I just don't want to confuse you. I have almost a dozen sisters ;) Anyway My Darling sister "R" came for a visit. At the end of our lovely chat (she has teenagers and assures me when mine are that age she will help me because hers are giving us ample experience)...I said lets go to the movies. She said that would be fun. I said are you free tonight... VIOLA!!! I had a movie date! How very great is that! LOVE IT! We are going to go more often, because believe it or not, her husband doesn't love chick flicks either...I KNOW GASP! :)

Well, today was a beautiful day. Laundry, children, bums to wipe, diapers to change, children to feed, homeschool, children to feed, laundry...AND THE MOVIES!

Make it a good day. Only YOU can! (I did ;)

11 sisters...I mean 12...

My Darling #1 is a girl. She was followed up by 4 brothers. Each time she would get so excited and then, at the ultrasound she would cry. It broke my heart time and again. And although I wouldn't change a thing...I love my boys...I wanted to give her a sister.

A couple years ago the family of girls that babysits for us (they have the opposite...4 girls, 1 boy) told her that they would all be her sisters. This appeased her and she tells me they are her sisters all the time. This year we got a puppy and she is a girl. My Darling #1 calls her the sister she was waiting for.

This same child of mine has decided who she is marrying. So today she said...Mom, I have my 4 sisters and Zoey (our dog) and then the boys will all marry and I will get 4 more sisters. Then when I marry "****" his sister will be my sister. I said, well his brother's wife will be a sister too. She lit up. She started to sing...I'm gonna have 11 sisters, I'm gonna have 11 sisters, I'm gonna have 11 sisters...OH YEAH! Then she realized this means she will have 10 brothers...she said OH NO!!!...Then she said, that's ok he has a girl dog too...And then she began to sing I'm gonna have 12 sisters, I'm gonna have 12 sisters, I'm gonna have 12 sisters...Oh Yes, Oh Yes, I am!

I just love it when we are young and know everything about how our life will turn out! Cute to watch her. She just said, "I KNOW I AM GOING TO MARRY **** and YOU can't do anything about that, except let me marry him..." Kids...

Make it a good day! Only YOU can!

My everyday life...

Woke up...

Darling #1 complains of stomach pains...

Check abdomen...

Push right side and said child screams in utter agony...

Quickly call doctor and set appointment...

Rush her there...

Said child lays on table...

Doctor pushes ALL OVER ABDOMEN...

NOTHING!!!!

NOTHING!!!!

NOTHING!!!!

Not like I wanted there to be something...

But really, NOW? NOW after I dressed darlings #2, 3, 4, and 5...NOTHING?

Is it bad that I was a little happy the doctor requested a blood sample with the urine sample? Said child was more than a little miffed. But with all the screaming and horrific pain, did she think the doctor would just send her home!

Thank heaven for insurance!

Make it a good day! Only YOU can!

Marbles

One of my sisters sent me this. I am having a cruddy day...but this made me smile... (and shed a tear or two)... Hope you enjoy!

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.

Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry, how are you today?'

'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'

'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'

'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time..'

'Good... Anything I can help you with?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas..'

'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'

'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller.

'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'

'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.

'Not zackley but almost.'

'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'. Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.

With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.

When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket.

Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.

They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size.....they came to pay their debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho .'

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral :

We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care.

Make it a good day. Only YOU can!

It takes a village...or in my case a Ward/Congregation...

STOP!

It is Sunday, and though to this point my blog has had quite a bit of humor (mostly from REAL life experiences), I want to warn you that I decided this morning, my first Sunday since this blog to write about spiritual things on Sundays. I won't be clicking the share button for facebook. But if you would like to read on I hope something I have shared or learned will touch you in a positive way. But if you are one of my Monday-Saturday blog readers...I will not be offended with that either. With that said I hope you had a beautiful Sabbath, I did!

I go back to the vet visit the other day and I ponder it. My vet was not available so I met with a colleague of his. My children are far from perfect, but in public they do alright and they were lined up on the floor against the wall...#2 was reading his current chapter book...#1 was holding #5 and #3 and 4 (my husband lovingly at times refers to them as h#@$ and Damnation... Damnation gets a capital letter for emphasis)...anyway, #3 and #4 were likely fighting (but quietly of course).

When the vet surveyed the scene he looked over at me and said (and almost accusingly) "Are they ALL yours?" Emphasis on the ALL!

To which I replied NO, I borrowed some to come here. But then I said YES! They are ALL mine.

He didn't stop there either...He said, "Are you Catholic?" I just responded NO, irritated that if I told him I was Mormon that he would say oh, of course. What is that? Who decided to label Catholics and Mormons as the only people that have large families. It happened the other day too...a girl in line at the movies behind me saw a mom with several kids and said "They must be Mormon." Her friend replied that her aunt had like 7 kids (or around there) and they were Christian...to which I couldn't help but reply so are Mormons. By the way I don't even refer to myself as Mormon, I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But that is beside the point. The Vet's technician, more than a little embarrassed for his rudeness piped in and said, Maybe she likes kids!

Anyway, I have reflected on this little incident several times...

(opps...Dinner is ready...I will be back later to finish ;)

And it has made me cherish my children. I am so grateful for each and every one of them. Each Darling #1-#5 have their own gifts, talents and quirks. They are each smart and funny in their own way. Each has weaknesses that belong just to them as well. It is almost ridiculous to think I could do this with just my husband and myself and that they would turn out just as we hope. But I don't do it alone. Of course our foundation for them starts with teaching them of a Loving Heavenly Father that was so generous that he sent each of them to us. And that is followed by lessons of a Loving Older Brother, Jesus Christ, that loved them so much he gave his life, set a path and prepared a way back for them. But we would not be nearly as successful as parents if we didn't have so much love and reinforcement all around us. One of my sisters has a piece of flair that says "I've seen the village and I don't want them raising my children." In many points I would have to agree. But I am grateful for my congregation. Latter-day Saints call it a ward. I truly appreciate the help they give. A couple years ago my husband was called to serve as a counselor to our bishop (a bishop is like a pastor). This means he sits up by the pulpit next to the bishop. That means that I sit with 5 children (used to be 4) and try to wrangle them into behaving. When the responsibility came for my husband to serve I was more than a little scared and concerned. But a sweet family with older young women told me don't fret. They said they would help take care of us. And they have for over 2 years now. I am grateful for them. Their love, snacks, laps to sit on and help running a little one to the bathroom are selfless acts of service that bless me every week. Along with them, there are other families that help. A grandma and grandpa type that my #3 loves to sit with. A mother with older children (two which are adults now) that keeps endless supplies of skittles and lots and lots of love. I am grateful for their kindness, their love and their help. To me...this is what it really means to be like Christ. They will never fully understand the depth of how their kindness has touched and blessed us.

Now go make it a great day. Only YOU can!

Garage Sales, Baby showers and visiting Grandpa...

Garage Sale...up until 12:30 am making signs, up at 6 am to set up... hot sun, long hours... EXHAUSTING... Conner bringing out a bucket of his little brother's toys to sell...PRICELESS!

Baby Shower...Long drive after 5 1/2 hours sleep EXHAUSTING...Seeing some of our extended family and my Aunt teaming up and winning a price for us in the changing a baby's diaper...with cloth diapers and pins game...PRICELESS

Tired baby, Tired Mama, Tired #1 Darling...EXHAUSTING DAY...Stopping on the way home to see my Step Grandpa, the smile on his face, the tear in his eyes, and hearing him say...THIS WAS THE BEST SURPRISE.... PRICELESS!!!

The feeling that the priceless things in life bring, money can't buy...I love my family...my immediate family, the one I came from and all my extended family. I am so very blessed!!!

SlimFast, Big Thighs and a scale that LIES!

Good Morning!

If you have had one child or ten, or even no children at all, many of you may sympathize and know what I am talking about when I say that sometimes I pull out my old yearbook and *sigh* to myself. Where is that cute little body? I think my fat and hungry girl ate her. Now if you are one of my dear friends that asked me in the last 10 months if I was having another baby and I responded with "NO, I am just fat" and you gasped and said, Oh no you look great... Then first of all I seriously wasn't offended when you kept trying to apologize. And Second, look great for WHAT?... a pregnant person...because (completely without offense need I remind you)...You just said I look pregnant...and not the 3 month cute pregnant when people normally announce the joyous occasion and are barely showing. You haven't seen me for 5, 6, 7? Months and you thought I was having #6! Now I do have a lot of children so I could see how this could just be a normal starting conversation for my friends. But OBVIOUSLY, I do not look just fine. And I am working on it. It would help if I didn't have that impulse to feed my face when people I love get snatched up to heaven. Working on the impulse too.

But with all that said...Now to the Slimfast... I know, I know...Diet and exercize. But I need to get some of the weight off. I was going to the gym and my knee started killing. So I was TOLD I need to get some of the weight off first. Anyway...aside from a couple little treats this week...it has been small reasonable meals, and slimfast shakes. I got on the scale yesterday and happy day I was under 190 (189.5...HEY THAT IS UNDER!) I was so happy I called my DH (Darling Husband) and of course he yeahed, and oooo'ed and awwww'ed for me. That is in his contract. But then dumb me...I got on the scale this morning... 193.5!!! What on earth? I asked myself ARE YOU PREGNANT? Myself does not think so. Here I am...evidently today is a one step forward and four steps back day. I will continue forward and try to tell myself it is water weight? But how long can this go on...No fastfood, chocolate or especially HOT chocolate...A girl can only red knuckle it for so long. My conclusion is that my scale is a liar. I should go out and buy a new one and smash this one with a hammer. But if the new one lies too that could get costly. I will give it a few more weeks. What is it with women and impulse control, patience deficiency and no ability to exercise delayed gratification...at least I am in good company. And for all those diet pooh pooh'ers, who remind us that beauty is on the inside...JUST FOR THE RECORD...I LOVE MYSELF. I just don't love how my current body is accenting all my beautiful features.

Make it a great day! Only YOU can!

The Grass is always greener on the other side.

A friend (of 30 years) read my blog yesterday...you might have too...

The difference between her and I is that my oldest is 9 (obviously my children will be in the house a couple more years.) Hers are just about ready to fly the coop. And she really is "missing" already some of those things that I joked about yesterday. (Well, I wasn't joking about all of them :) So in honor of her, the wonderful mother she has been, faithful, kind, generous with her kids, present in their every day living, supportive and loyal to them...N...this is for you

My parents weren't perfect. After therapy I realized they did the best they could with what they had. Something they did right from the get go was they exposed us to good things. They exposed us to church, reading, family time, and something called "education week". For those that are not familiar with this Mormon vernacular, education week brings together seminar like speakers from a variety of walks of life. I learned a lot and developed many opinions in my many years of education weeks. We joked they had a class for everything from A-Z... anorexia to zest for living. My parents were often found in one of two places...classes to enhance their marriage or classes to enhance their parenting skills. One such parenting speaker they loved so much they bought his tapes and we listened to him in the car a million times. (You know on a TAPE...my daughter found one the other day and said...Mom, WHAT IS THIS!?? I thought MAN I AM OLD!)

Anyway...I wish that I could credit the speaker for the part of this that is his...I really would if I could but I was eight and in a few weeks that will be 30 years ago...yes I am getting old, NO I don't remember his name. So if you know who he is just pipe in...and please don't sue me...I have no intention of stealing anything...but the advice was priceless.

Sorry for the long intro: Here it goes N.

There was once a man and woman that loved each other. They courted, got engaged and got married. They finally scraped together enough money to get a house and the man loved his space. He took the yard down to dirt, laid sprinklers and planted the best grass seed after months of careful research. He watered and fertilized this yard of his and the grass grew. His wife was not allowed NEAR the grass. He erected caution tape around the perimeter of the yard and forbade all to cross it. The grass came in lovely and finally after what seemed like an eternity but was really more like 8 months they were allowed to walk on it. Over the next few years children came. In succession one after the other...someone told them to stop washing their underware together...That person needs the birds and bees talk don't you think? But here they were first with one, then two, three, four and currently FIVE children (The vet asks are these ALL yours, the mother replies NO I borrowed some to bring to the appointment!).

With children came playsets...the father gasped, NOT ON MY GRASS. The mother smiled, "It will come back"

With children came slip n slides...the father screeched, NOT ON MY GRASS. The mother smiled, "It will come back"

The baseball games that got ever more agressive over the years, and tag, and red light, green light, mother may I, and babies that pull up grass in handfuls and the father cried, not my grass! And the mother smiled, "It will come back."

One day she told him they will all grow up and move away. We are not raising grass, we are raising children. The grass will come back, but childhood never will. (She knew this beautiful principle because she had heard it in the car for so many years, on that little tape player...but she laughed because It was her real life. Sometimes art imitates life, sometimes life imitates art.)

We only have today to live today. We only get ONE shot at today. I don't want to be know either in heaven or by my children for growing perfect grass. So read more to your children...I will talk about my mother reading another day. Dance in the rain, turn the radio up in your house with the kids home and make a fool out of yourself...They will not care about your degrees or job accolades but they will never forget how you make them feel. And if you make them feel cherished even though childhood will NEVER COME BACK, they will.

Make it a great day, only YOU can!

You're gonna miss this????

My children are wonderful...they are fabulous...REALLY! So does it make me a bad mom when I have days I just want to SCREAM! Or even better yet...days when I think I might pull out my hair if I hear ONE MORE PERSON SCREAM? The answer is absolutely NO! It does make me human...if you are a human mom...you will appreciate this morning I had...BEFORE 8 am ;)

This morning I woke to someone tap tap tapping on my arm. "Mommy can I watch a movie?" They say all this technology is PROGRESS...the only progression I see is that my children wake me up earlier and earlier. Being the stellar mom I am I said "Just be quiet." Of course...in five minutes the Dog, Darling #4, then Darling #3 and now Darling #5 are all up... Noise...and LOTS OF IT! Screaming as I write. Why do little boys insist on screaming? I wonder this constantly...sometimes with a splitting headache I beg for refuge. They say in country songs "You're gonna miss this" .... Really? Doesn't a man sing that song? He must mean he is going to miss the elaborate hugs he gets when he comes home from work, and the endless kisses. He is going to miss "Daddy you are my best friend"...

I will tell you what this "firefighter" mother of five is not going to miss...

I will not miss:

dirty diapers

screaming (I will miss noise when they grow up...but NOT SCREAMING)

I won't miss Oreo Cookie shakes on the floor (I will miss Oreo Shake mustaches)

Multiple visits to the doctor in one week...Because when I went in on a Monday for one...the others got sick in succession...

You get the point.

I know they say the joyful sound of children playing is music to the ears...But I must not have EVOLVED to THAT kind of mother yet...because when my four boys really get playing...it is anything BUT music...And when my darling daughter has had enough and screeches at them...WATCH OUT!

There are many things I will miss of course! Laughter, hugs, story time, smiles, giggles, water fight play days, library trips that make kids light up with joy...(hence the endless books back ground on my blog...we miss their angel grandma who is a librarian by trade and by heart)...

But there are definitely a few I don't think I will LONG FOR! :) If you are a "firefighting mama" too...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

So make it a great day! Because only you can! And you may want to invest in some ear plugs ;)

My Stick Family from WiddlyTinks.com

Today...The first day of the rest of my life...

I am always saying...It doesn't matter what you did last year, last month, last week...even yesterday. If you make up your mind to be different, to change, to embrace good and move forward... It only matters the direction you are headed. That does not mean you will get there tomorrow. But if you are headed in the right direction you WILL GET THERE! Some will get there much faster. But I do not believe God stands and judges with a stop watch. So with that said I am trying to head in the right direction. Occasionally it is one step forward two steps back. But usually it is two steps forward one step back.

I am a wife.

I am a mother.

I am a daughter.

I am a sister.

I am an aunt.

I am a friend.

My life is not red carpet glamorous...It is more like trying to get red Kool-aide out of the carpet. This morning I came to a realization. I am a firefighter. I put out little fires all day long. I am at home. I have five children. I homeschool...some of you gasp. Some of you whisper...That is ok...there is nothing you can say that I haven't said in my own head. This blog is for me. Maybe I will only do it today (remember I have constant fires to put out...), maybe it will help me grow and become a habit. But for today...it will keep me sane. And one more day of sanity is priceless.

So back to that Firefighter job of mine.

Today was an ordinary day...(it is 11:26am)

I have cleaned up a milkshake (oreo cookie of course) from all over the floor that my #4 darling a 3 year old spilled when trying to take it to the sink. Did I say thank you? No...I am human, I yelled. Working on that one. Then I went into Firefighter action and put out the fire. After the mess was cleaned up I went to the sink (I can't remember why now), but it didn't take long...I stepped in the water bowl #2 darling left out for the dog (not where it goes of course) and yep...I cleaned up and put out another fire. I turned to see that #1 darling who was making their own eggs got egg everywhere...thankfully they saw my exasperation and put out their own fire! Then there was the go-gurt accident that #4 darling had when he tipped the bottle a little two far...and spilled on both his shirt and the floor. Two more fires...put out! This is when I thought "I am just a firefighter...putting out fires all day." No wonder my husband comes home and says honey "what???" did you do today. And he thinks firefighters make cabinets and eat all day...he has NO IDEA!!! I sat at the computer and thought "I am a firefighter" I better write this down, it is better than spanking children and will help me calm down! This is when #4 darling...do you see a pattern with #4? ... spilled the entire container of mini (reward for pee pee) m&m's on the kitchen floor. So the kitchen floor got a third scrub... Did I mention it isn't even lunch time yet?

I think I need to have a Firefighter Mama's fundraiser so that I can go to the spa...But you know that will never happen. The alarm will go off, another fire will erupt and you know us firefighters, 24 hour on call...Duty calls, it's a thankless job...but I hear the retirement is really good. And I wouldn't trade the little ones for a pencil pushing job any day of the week.