#5 post: What REACHES You???

This is my #5 post in a series of 10 RE-posts from my first 100 posts. I am starting off my summer with a BANG, and playing with the children, laughing, watching movies, and having all around general fun. So I don't have time for NEW posts this week. If you missed this one...I LOVE YOU, and Hope you enjoy this.
#218 Reason I see the hand of Heavenly Father in my life...LOVE!
Make it a great day...ONLY YOU CAN!!!

What reaches you?
The human is such an interesting creature...

Unlike the rest of the animal kingdom, our array of emotions is so wide spread. We feel love, hate, sorrow, gratitude, exhaustion, exilaration, happiness, sadness...and so on. Sometimes we clog up, close off and don't allow ourselves to feel anything. Other times we feel so much that we can't control it...it just bubbles over and out of us...anger, laughter, tears...both the sad and the joyful kind.

When I think of my mother I often experience this bubbling over of emotions. The tears still flow and this January she will have been gone from this earth 3 years. But usually I am not crying because I am depressed, or falling apart. Usually the tears follow something wonderful, like my daughter's baptism, a son's birthday party or some memorable event that she would have been to, were she physically present. I miss her. I miss her tender hugs and just cuddling up to her...which YES I still did at 35. Sometimes when Darling husband worked late and she stayed over we would lay in bed and hold hands and talk. I love those times, and when I think of them now a tear forms. It forms because of the gratitude that wells up in me that I had those opportunities, and it forms because I know it will be a long time before she and I are together again, at least I HOPE that my time on this earth is much longer to raise my own children.

Thinking and feeling, acting and reacting can separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom. And then there are the times we lose control and act like nothing more than animals. We degrade and tear down and we might as well be beasts, fighting in the jungle in the survival of the fittest. As I look at my life, the older I get, the more determined I am that I want to do better, be better. And though I am a "back slider" at times, I am trying. Even if it is two steps forward, one step back, at least I am making some ground.

Today I had the bubbling over emotion. We were sitting in Sunday School and discussing Isaiah. For those familiar with the Old Testament, he is no easy read. But I love Isaiah. I love the metaphors and descriptions that he uses. I love his passion for testifying of Christ. As we spoke of this my eyes welled up with tears. Do I have that kind of passion for my testimony? Am I willing to shout it from the house tops and not worry whom I offend? Well, I don't want to offend anyone, but I do hope my friends and loved ones know, I am firm in my faith that God our Heavenly Father, and his Beloved Son Jesus Christ love us...ALL OF US...Yes, that is right, the Muslim and the Christian, Black and White, Bond and Free...ALL ALIKE UNTO GOD. I love that. I am not perfect, but I do love freely and without reservation. I hope my friends will always feel that love, and not just the friends that share my faith, but all my friends. I love that bubbling over emotion, which I believe often is a fruit of the Spirit (Holy Ghost) that reminds us, we are human, this experience is real, and we are God's children and he is very close. I am so grateful for those deep feelings, even the ones that make me cry...because they remind me who I am, where I came from and where I hope to go after this life.

For those reading this that know me...KNOW THIS...you are loved so much! On my love you can rely!

Make it a great day! Only YOU can!

#4 You're Gonna Miss This???

This week I have been playing a lot with my children...and RE-posting some of my favorite posts from my first 100 posts. This was one of my earliest posts on this blog. And already there are things that I miss about babies, since my littlest is almost 2. But there are definitely things I WON'T MISS!!!
#219 Reason I see the hand of Heavenly Father in my life: My little Oreo Mustache children bring me such joy, and messes often teach patience if we let them. I am thankful for the better person I am becoming, thanks to the beautiful children he is loaning me.
Make it a great day! Only YOU can!

You're gonna miss this????
My children are wonderful...they are fabulous...REALLY! So does it make me a bad mom when I have days I just want to SCREAM! Or even better yet...days when I think I might pull out my hair if I hear ONE MORE PERSON SCREAM? The answer is absolutely NO! It does make me human...if you are a human mom...you will appreciate this morning I had...BEFORE 8 am ;)


This morning I woke to someone tap tap tapping on my arm. "Mommy can I watch a movie?" They say all this technology is PROGRESS...the only progression I see is that my children wake me up earlier and earlier. Being the stellar mom I am I said "Just be quiet." Of course...in five minutes the Dog, Darling #4, then Darling #3 and now Darling #5 are all up... Noise...and LOTS OF IT! Screaming as I write. Why do little boys insist on screaming? I wonder this constantly...sometimes with a splitting headache I beg for refuge. They say in country songs "You're gonna miss this" .... Really? Doesn't a man sing that song? He must mean he is going to miss the elaborate hugs he gets when he comes home from work, and the endless kisses. He is going to miss "Daddy you are my best friend"...


I will tell you what this "firefighter" mother of five is not going to miss...
I will not miss:
dirty diapers
screaming (I will miss noise when they grow up...but NOT SCREAMING)
I won't miss Oreo Cookie shakes on the floor (I will miss Oreo Shake mustaches)
Multiple visits to the doctor in one week...Because when I went in on a Monday for one...the others got sick in succession...
You get the point.
I know they say the joyful sound of children playing is music to the ears...But I must not have EVOLVED to THAT kind of mother yet...because when my four boys really get playing...it is anything BUT music...And when my darling daughter has had enough and screeches at them...WATCH OUT!


There are many things I will miss of course! Laughter, hugs, story time, smiles, giggles, water fight play days, library trips that make kids light up with joy...(hence the endless books back ground on my blog...we miss their angel grandma who is a librarian by trade and by heart)...


But there are definitely a few I don't think I will LONG FOR! :) If you are a "firefighting mama" too...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
So make it a great day! Because only you can! And you may want to invest in some ear plugs ;)

#3 (from my first 100 posts) Eat, Pray, LOVE!

Ok...this year has been a discovery in importance of the IMPORTANT things. A good meal with my family around the table...yum. Prayers offered and answered (sometimes the way I want, sometimes not what I hoped for, but answered none the less), and LOVE...God's greatest gift...Love from Him, Love when HE sent His son, love from my darling husband, love from my beautiful children, love from my family and wonderful friends. So tonight I share my post about my movie experience EAT, PRAY, LOVE....hmmm...I think I might have to rent it and see it again soon.
#219 Reason I see the hand of Heavenly Father in my life... LOVE, PRAYER...and Yummmy foods. God is good!
Make it a great day! Only YOU can!

A sweet friend of mine recommended this movie to me this week. I want to start by thanking her.
I sit here with a Del Taco bag filled with 3 of their $.39 Tacos and a strawberry lemonade. I wonder if Julia Roberts would be disappointed with my lack of food taste...


I am not a frequent movie goer. Why? Hmmmm! I am not really sure. I LOVE the movies. I love the scene in Annie where Daddy Warbucks (sp?) takes her to the movies and the entertainment intro sings "Let's go to the movies, let's go see the stars. Fred and Ginger Dancing madly....Only happy endings, that's our recipe." The thought of it makes me want to burst into song. Maybe I don't frequent the theater anymore because I married a movie hater. And it isn't fun most of the time to go without my sweetheart. Well, after tonight I AM OVER THAT!


Eat, Pray, LOVE! It was a beautiful, powerful, and touching movie. And yet, I also found myself laughing, enjoying and getting lost in it like you do in those fun feel good movies. GO SEE IT! Don't expect the normal...fall in love, problems, work it out, happy ending...Not this movie. But it also isn't the "Break-up" ridiculously unhappy ending either. I loathe that movie. I will warn you there is a bare butt...drum player on the beach, close your eyes if this offends you. Other than that, what a beautiful story of a woman who finds faith, and love for God and herself.


After the movie's recommendation my sister came to visit me today (My husband's sister...but as you may have read...if you read...in the post about my daughter yesterday...your husband's sisters are your sisters. And I am married to my husband FOREVER...so this "in law" stuff...I just leave it off.) If you know me and know my sisters live out of state, I just don't want to confuse you. I have almost a dozen sisters ;) Anyway My Darling sister "R" came for a visit. At the end of our lovely chat (she has teenagers and assures me when mine are that age she will help me because hers are giving us ample experience)...I said lets go to the movies. She said that would be fun. I said are you free tonight... VIOLA!!! I had a movie date! How very great is that! LOVE IT! We are going to go more often, because believe it or not, her husband doesn't love chick flicks either...I KNOW GASP! :)


Well, today was a beautiful day. Laundry, children, bums to wipe, diapers to change, children to feed, homeschool, children to feed, laundry...AND THE MOVIES!
Make it a good day. Only YOU can! (I did ;)

Don't be a slave...

This post is my filler for Saturday. I write every day. But I didn't today...well actually YESTERDAY. But I am post dating it so who cares? Who even knows? But I will share that while I was NOT writing my blog, I was having a fabuloso day with my family and one of my besties! My kids were in playing heaven too!

#220 Reason I see the hand of Heavenly Father in my life...the blessing of SUMMER BREAK...can I get an A-MEN!!!

Make it a great day! Only YOU can!

Ten Favorite Post from my first 100 Posts #2 The Greener Grass...

Here is another from my first 100 posts. Hope you enjoy. Had a great day with my kidlets. Love summer. Life is GOOD!!!
#221 Reason I see the hand of Heavenly Father in my life...even on days when my children are so difficult to raise, my chest wells up with immense love for them. I know that those deep feelings of love come from a loving Heavenly Parent who has given me a good example of parenting.
Make it a great day...ONLY YOU CAN!!!

The Grass is always greener on the other side.
A friend (of 30 years) read my blog yesterday...you might have too...
The difference between her and I is that my oldest is 9 (obviously my children will be in the house a couple more years.) Hers are just about ready to fly the coop. And she really is "missing" already some of those things that I joked about yesterday. (Well, I wasn't joking about all of them :) So in honor of her, the wonderful mother she has been, faithful, kind, generous with her kids, present in their every day living, supportive and loyal to them...N...this is for you


My parents weren't perfect. After therapy I realized they did the best they could with what they had. Something they did right from the get go was they exposed us to good things. They exposed us to church, reading, family time, and something called "education week". For those that are not familiar with this Mormon vernacular, education week brings together seminar like speakers from a variety of walks of life. I learned a lot and developed many opinions in my many years of education weeks. We joked they had a class for everything from A-Z... anorexia to zest for living. My parents were often found in one of two places...classes to enhance their marriage or classes to enhance their parenting skills. One such parenting speaker they loved so much they bought his tapes and we listened to him in the car a million times. (You know on a TAPE...my daughter found one the other day and said...Mom, WHAT IS THIS!?? I thought MAN I AM OLD!)
Anyway...I wish that I could credit the speaker for the part of this that is his...I really would if I could but I was eight and in a few weeks that will be 30 years ago...yes I am getting old, NO I don't remember his name. So if you know who he is just pipe in...and please don't sue me...I have no intention of stealing anything...but the advice was priceless.


Sorry for the long intro: Here it goes N.
There was once a man and woman that loved each other. They courted, got engaged and got married. They finally scraped together enough money to get a house and the man loved his space. He took the yard down to dirt, laid sprinklers and planted the best grass seed after months of careful research. He watered and fertilized this yard of his and the grass grew. His wife was not allowed NEAR the grass. He erected caution tape around the perimeter of the yard and forbade all to cross it. The grass came in lovely and finally after what seemed like an eternity but was really more like 8 months they were allowed to walk on it. Over the next few years children came. In succession one after the other...someone told them to stop washing their underware together...That person needs the birds and bees talk don't you think? But here they were first with one, then two, three, four and currently FIVE children (The vet asks are these ALL yours, the mother replies NO I borrowed some to bring to the appointment!).


With children came playsets...the father gasped, NOT ON MY GRASS. The mother smiled, "It will come back"
With children came slip n slides...the father screeched, NOT ON MY GRASS. The mother smiled, "It will come back"
The baseball games that got ever more agressive over the years, and tag, and red light, green light, mother may I, and babies that pull up grass in handfuls and the father cried, not my grass! And the mother smiled, "It will come back."


One day she told him they will all grow up and move away. We are not raising grass, we are raising children. The grass will come back, but childhood never will. (She knew this beautiful principle because she had heard it in the car for so many years, on that little tape player...but she laughed because It was her real life. Sometimes art imitates life, sometimes life imitates art.)


We only have today to live today. We only get ONE shot at today. I don't want to be know either in heaven or by my children for growing perfect grass. So read more to your children...I will talk about my mother reading another day. Dance in the rain, turn the radio up in your house with the kids home and make a fool out of yourself...They will not care about your degrees or job accolades but they will never forget how you make them feel. And if you make them feel cherished even though childhood will NEVER COME BACK, they will.
Make it a great day, only YOU can!

Ten Favorites from my first 100 posts... #1FIREFIGHTER

I wanted a little break this week. My children just finished up their school year. They are enrolled in an awesome summer school program. But there is a four week break in between. I am not taking off four weeks. But I thought I would take some time away from this and PLAY PLAY PLAY with them. We totally earned it. I can't wait for playdates with our besties, and cousins! Summer, here we come. So I will be RE-Posting 10 of my favorite posts from my first 100 posts. Hope you Re-Enjoy them if you read them already, or if you haven't, hope you enjoy them for the first time around...And Don't forget to make it a great day! *Side Note* Happy Birthday TODAY to my #4...he isn't 3 anymore and he hardly ever makes messes like the ones in this post. But that is ok...#5 quickly took his place...they call that JOB SECURITY...you will see why.

PS. #222 Reason I see the hand of Heavenly Father in my life...Firemen! Sometime I will share the story of how they saved my husband's life, even though he gives them a hard time.

I am always saying...It doesn't matter what you did last year, last month, last week...even yesterday. If you make up your mind to be different, to change, to embrace good and move forward... It only matters the direction you are headed. That does not mean you will get there tomorrow. But if you are headed in the right direction you WILL GET THERE! Some will get there much faster. But I do not believe God stands and judges with a stop watch. So with that said I am trying to head in the right direction. Occasionally it is one step forward two steps back. But usually it is two steps forward one step back.

I am a wife.

I am a mother.

I am a daughter.

I am a sister.

I am an aunt.

I am a friend.

My life is not red carpet glamorous...It is more like trying to get red Kool-aide out of the carpet. This morning I came to a realization. I am a firefighter. I put out little fires all day long. I am at home. I have five children. I homeschool...some of you gasp. Some of you whisper...That is ok...there is nothing you can say that I haven't said in my own head. This blog is for me. Maybe I will only do it today (remember I have constant fires to put out...), maybe it will help me grow and become a habit. But for today...it will keep me sane. And one more day of sanity is priceless.

So back to that Firefighter job of mine.

Today was an ordinary day...(it is 11:26am)

I have cleaned up a milkshake (oreo cookie of course) from all over the floor that my #4 darling a 3 year old spilled when trying to take it to the sink. Did I say thank you? No...I am human, I yelled. Working on that one. Then I went into Firefighter action and put out the fire. After the mess was cleaned up I went to the sink (I can't remember why now), but it didn't take long...I stepped in the water bowl #2 darling left out for the dog (not where it goes of course) and yep...I cleaned up and put out another fire. I turned to see that #1 darling who was making their own eggs got egg everywhere...thankfully they saw my exasperation and put out their own fire! Then there was the go-gurt accident that #4 darling had when he tipped the bottle a little two far...and spilled on both his shirt and the floor. Two more fires...put out! This is when I thought "I am just a firefighter...putting out fires all day." No wonder my husband comes home and says honey "what???" did you do today. And he thinks firefighters make cabinets and eat all day...he has NO IDEA!!! I sat at the computer and thought "I am a firefighter" I better write this down, it is better than spanking children and will help me calm down! This is when #4 darling...do you see a pattern with #4? ... spilled the entire container of mini (reward for pee pee) m&m's on the kitchen floor. So the kitchen floor got a third scrub... Did I mention it isn't even lunch time yet?

I think I need to have a Firefighter Mama's fundraiser so that I can go to the spa...But you know that will never happen. The alarm will go off, another fire will erupt and you know us firefighters, 24 hour on call...Duty calls, it's a thankless job...but I hear the retirement is really good. And I wouldn't trade the little ones for a pencil pushing job any day of the week.

...

Long day filled with children and laundry...

#223 Reason I see the hand of Heavenly Father in my life...he loves me unconditionally...

Make it a great day! (Even if you have laundry) Only YOU can!