Remember...

I have thought a lot about the word Remember over the past few years.  I have learned of its power as my heart is longing for a loved one I have lost, or when my child tells me that they don't like me...and I have to remember that yesterday they told me I was the best mommy in the whole world.

I have thought of how I cling at times to bad memories, and punish loved ones for crimes that should have expired with the statute of limitations...decades past.

I have thought of how I forget to remember all the good I have done all my life and dwell too often on those extra 50 pounds, the unkind thought when someone cuts me off and my memories of being impatient with my children more often than I would like.

But as I have watched some loved ones the past few years, struggling with memories and losing the ability to remember things, it has made me keenly aware of the power of MEMORY.

I think of the promise from God that when we repent though our sins be as scarlet, they will be white as snow.  And if I must forgive, and he forgives me why is it so hard to forget the bad and remember the good more often.

My dad, one of my brothers and I once got into a very heated discussion about competition.   Having studied sociology, I believe that the "worldly" set up of competition in society is damaging to relationships.  They argued that competition is imperative to progress.

I don't have all the answers.  But I do have 4 very competitive boys.  So recently, when two of them got in a huge fight, I sat them down and gave them a punishment that was experimental and calculated in its nature.  They had to play together for a week.  They had no access to tablets, T.V., Computer (except for school), kindle readers, they just had each other for all their free time.  The assignment was to learn to like each other again.  And by a week they did.  It wore off when they fell back into their competitive and selfish ways a week after that.  But I did see, watch, recognize a change in them during the experiment.

I would suggest that much of the ill and hurt feelings of loved ones between one another, and much of the self loathing we catch ourself doing could be wiped away if we stopped competing so much and just loved each other and ourselves.

I changed the colors of my blog for spring.  The pinks and yellows remind me of candy stores, and lemonade.  And maybe I am just too Pollyanna.  Maybe I am wrong in my analysis of life.  Maybe my idea is just to simple to work.

My daughter was in tears a few weeks back because she is in a class with her younger (Math mastermind) brother and he had a higher grade.  Sobbing ensued.  But I asked her (deliberately in front of another younger brother that deals with self esteem issues)...what if you stopped comparing yourself to anyone and just did YOUR BEST.  You might not be a math master mind, but you are better than you give yourself credit for.

When we hold ourselves up to airbrushed models, when we look at Hollywood marriages with longing that last 3-7 years...and our own is still going strong...but just not as Hollywood "sparkly"...or ours isn't going strong, but we learned what we really want now and have course corrected to get it...When we stop buying happiness and start finding it, inside us, and around us...

Then I think more positive memories will flow freely, and the bitter ones of regret, hurt and grudges will lose some of their sting and their power.  It is just a theory, but this year I am going to try it out.