(Writing this felt like coming home...I stayed away too long...so here is the return of the Prodigal son/well daughter in this case.)
My daughter (age 10) came to me on Labor day and wanted to let me know that it was "Very Ironic" that on Labor day...when we celebrate Laborers, most people don't work. I had a cute chuckle with her and we shared one of those...look each other in the face and give a silly smile moments.
But life itself seems so ironic. When we are young we want to be older. When we are old we want to be younger. It seems that so much of our lives are waisted on what isn't that we wish was, and what IS that we wish wasn't.
Losing both my parents before I was 40, and with my oldest child just turning 10 this year has set things in a little bit of perspective for me. Even if someone offered me a time machine and NO "Butterfly Effect Consequences", I can safely say that I have no desire to go backward or forward. My daughter also recently came to me with a little quote she heard on a TV show. Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a gift...That's why they call it the PRESENT! She was pleased with this discovery and reminded me (lest I forget) that we can NOT change the past. We need to live in the present and prepare for the future...and THAT is all we have control over. This was a good reminder, and a good life lesson in general. She is actually wise beyond her 10 years on earth. I guess that is an irony in and of itself...that the child teaches the parent. But it is not a first around here. It happens quite often. Maybe it is because I see my children as people, not possessions or objects to be moved around at my whim. They have marvelous ideas, they create, they explore, they learn so many things hands on. I am not perfect, but I try to step with care, and not extingush the passions that they came with naturally.
My greatest desire is to have a happy family...Happiness itself is not a DESTINATION...it is a journey (that is what my mom used to always say at least). But with my parents loss I have found my very existance at odds with my true desires. So I am battling...the hurts of the loss on one shoulder, the desire to be happy on the other. Anyone relate?
Today...I decided I don't want the sad. I can't control the tears, they come when they come. But I can choose to be happy or sad...I am choosing happiness. I am choosing laughter with the children, family time, silly faces, chicken salad sandwiches at the table for lunch, all together.
Life is short and precious...Make it a great day! ONLY YOU CAN!
